


I Still Love Him

by SWeetasSuga



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: #Natasha'sagoodbro, #Songfic, #Stucky - Freeform, #angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Like seriously you'll have to squint, M/M, Post Captain America #25, Preserumsteve, brief peggy/steve, literally one sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 06:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13698447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWeetasSuga/pseuds/SWeetasSuga
Summary: This is technically a songfic, but it's actually an audio from the singer Lana Del Ray. I do not in any way claim that the lyrics from the audio used is mine. All of it belongs to Lana Del Ray. Take a listen! It will seriously put you in your feels.https://youtu.be/H-D0_AV_rHo





	I Still Love Him

**Author's Note:**

> This is technically a songfic, but it's actually an audio from the singer Lana Del Ray. I do not in any way claim that the lyrics from the audio used is mine. All of it belongs to Lana Del Ray. Take a listen! It will seriously put you in your feels.  
> https://youtu.be/H-D0_AV_rHo

“Why?”

Her question hung heavy in the air, cutting the silence between them. “For the short time that I've known you, you've always had one thing in common… since the very first day.” 

Natasha sat back in the chair and peered out the window. The lines of stress were starting to become prominent in her features. Tired crept into her eyes, but they would never tell. 

“You've never needed a reason to fight. From the very first day you stepped into this world, you were given orders, and you followed them. You didn’t even know what you were fighting fo-“ 

“I’m fighting for what's ri-“ Steve interjected. 

“Cut the shit, Rogers.” 

The room grew silent again. 

“You're starting wars, Steve. This man, he's killed many innocent people, yet he's given you a reason to fight. Why?”

“Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky. Bucky fought for me even when no one else thought I'd make it to see my ninth birthday. He looked me dead in the face, Nat, and he didn’t even recognize me. I have to fight for him!” Steve's tone grew desperate as he silently pleaded for an understanding. 

Natasha ‘Hmmd' at the response. 

“You loved him.” Steve's eyes widened slightly, and he dropped his gaze to the floor. It isn’t a question, Steve knows. “Tell me about him.” 

Steve hesitantly looked up. Natasha was looking at him now. Her eyes held sympathy and understanding. Steve ran a hand through his hair. 

“God, where do I even begin? Bucky… Bucky was always full of life. Even when we were just a coupla' dirty street kids, he knew how to make the best of every situation.” Steve took a shaky breath. “And I remember when I met him… it was so clear he was the one for me… we both knew it, right away.” 

**“We can’t tell anyone, Kay, Stevie?” The two boys, no older than ten, sat together in a dimly lit apartment room. The little blonde nodded.**

**“O-okay. You ready then?” Again, a nod.**

**Bucky leaned forward, locking eyes with his best friend, before doing the same with their lips. The boys pulled away from each other with a flurry of giggles and red faces.**

**They didn’t know what they had started that night. They had opened a door to a future such as that night. A future of hidden kisses and so much more.**

“And as the years went on, things got more difficult – we were faced with more challenges.” 

**“There are men laying down their lives, that’s what you don’t understand, this isn’t about me!”**

**Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Right. Cause’ you've got nothin’ to prove.”**

“I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had in the beginning.” 

**“You've got Peggy now, Steve..”**

“He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew it. When he walked in, every woman's head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him.”

 **“You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”**

**“Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb to run away from a fight, I'm following him.”**

“He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself.” 

**“Bucky! Grab my hand!”**

“I always got the sense that he was torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.” 

Steve took another shaky breath as he paused, trying to steady his voice. Natasha didn’t mention the tears that crept out of the corners of his eyes, much to Steve's appreciation. 

“..and in that way, I understood him, and I loved him,” Steve chuckled bitterly, “I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.” 

**“Who the hell is Bucky?”**

“And I still love him.”


End file.
